Monthly Archives: May 2011

moon & clouds

for about 5 weeks or so it is predominantly cloudy here, often misty, often raining. indeed it is warm, but i am missing the sun & the blue skies. furthermore, moon is waning, only 2 days left until new moon. i have always been sensitive to the phases of the moon, bursting with energy when moon is full and feeling week and vulnerable when it is new moon. and i am still working with what liedloff is reminding me of. so these days i am a bit … confused. feeling down. feeling lonely.

today i have been talking to my friend in germany … so lovely to hear her voice, to speak to her, even if we only had a few minutes … she told me about a great school in germany, giving them the possibility to really unschool, inside this “school” or at home, just the way they want to. sounds wonderful! for a moment i was wondering if we should go back … living in germany, legally! the possibility for my daughter to decide, day by day. lots of other people, children, adults, our friends near to us.

then i remembered. there had been more reasons for me to leave. there are still lots of regulations, controls in germany, concerning children, concerning the way we live, even the way we eat. life is more expensive there, less easy. i really don’t want to stand a german winter again!

no, i don’t want to go back!

there are things i am missing in my life but these are independent from where i am. i am on my way. and i am going on. searching. inside and outside. guess i won’t stay here forever …

fortune

today my daughter noticed that the birth mark on my right thigh has the shape of tenerife. mirror inverted. … strange. what do you think about the meaning of birth marks?

not intended

i wanted to re-read liedloff for some inspiration regarding our bear mom & son project. what is happening now … this book really touches my soul. painful. makes me very much aware of some aspects of my life that don’t feel right … some things i am missing or have been missing, then as now. old hurts. walls i have built to shelter myself. feeling quite distant from who i really am … getting closer scares me … do i dare?

reading

after weeks of waiting it finally arrived here … and bear mom has some reading to support her project 🙂

i have read this book years ago … but with a different focus that time. hope to find some words, some ideas, supporting our actual work here.

desert, rains & fireworks

for about two weeks or so it seems to me as if we have rainy season here … unfortunately without tropical temperatures (only something around 20° c, brrr). good luck there’s always a sunny place on this island … quite often the sun is shining & it is much warmer in puerto, only 6 kilometres away (half an hour by bus), than here.

some of the places we enjoyed the sun within the last days, together with some visitors from germany: playa las arenas (at the west coast; a beach that even our former australian housemate described as beautiful), playa san marcos (that one is okay, nice but not really breathtaking) and playa las teresitas, near santa cruz. this last one is one of the few white beaches here … made of desert sand they brought here from the sahara. me, i prefer the black beaches … they are so much more beautiful. but you cannot walk on them barefoot … the black sand becomes really hot in the sun!

last night, 3rd of may, we saw of our friends with the great fireworks in los realejos … and these are really great! obviously, tenerife holds the second place in world championship (i didn’t even know there are worldwide championships for fireworks!).