for my dear friend c whom i haven’t seen for 3 years now … HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! hope you have an awesome day today. you are always giving me a reason to believe!
besides all of these inner affairs the main thing i am dealing with these days is our poor social life. me as well as the daughter are urgently missing more people in our lifes. this had been a problem in germany, because most of our friends were living far away from us. & here, of course, where we only know very few people up to now, it is even worse.
i am yearning for a community to live in, with people of different ages, vegans, raw foodists would be great. unschoolers (living a radically unschooled life). likeminded. openminded. community! that’s what we need. that’s what i want for all the three of us. at least we could think about moving to a place with a bit more life in our neighbourhood. shorter ways. puerto maybe? furthermore i would really really love to have a garden, maybe grow some vegetables or greens!
so i made a list, a to-do-list, for when we will be back from germany: looking for communities on the islands, visiting them. placing notices in the health store. go on looking for classes, ballet, sports and so on. socialize our lifes 🙂
edit: start moving, so your angel can start blessing: just after scheduling these activities i made a new acquaintance, a german living here for many years with her daughter … i will call her in august as soon as we will be here again.
sounds so much more positive that way, doesn’t it? well, i don’t know if it is about forgetting. but for finding my true self, dormant somewhere. which could possibily involve losing what i have, what i think i am. makes me curious 🙂
Daniel Mackler writes about the risks of emotional healing that it also bears the risk of pain. feeling lots of long time denied feelings … i guess that’s where i am right now. just feeling. not analysing or something. recognizing what i have done for years to suppress them. yes it is painful. but liberating. as i wrote a few days ago: i do enjoy it!
When your emotions are not expressed, acknowledged or observed they remain trapped in your body.
By expressing your feelings from your heart the weight of them falls away.
John and Collette Whiteman
as i have written yesterday i enjoy quite intensive emotions these days. the kids do so as well. and all the three of us do quite well in expressing our emotions … regardless of the consequences …
although i was baptized roman catholic (but left church at the age of 20) i never in my life have been living in an environment that catholic like i do now. well, up to now, it doesn’t really touch my life. it is just all the religious festivals. the images of mary & jesus in every bus, every house, every garage (sic!). lots of churches & chapels. small altars at the roadsides. the villages named after saints.
i did not know there are patron saints for such a lot of aspects of life. the quarter we live in, san antonio, is named after the patron saint for those in love. isn’t that awesome? what a chance! i am curious to see what he will bring into my life 🙂
survived another new moon. since i am here on tenerife i seem to become even more sensitive to the moon. & to everything else …
is it due to the situation, that i left such a big part of my life behind to go on living in a different world? i don’t know. & i don’t really care. it is as it is. & i somehow like it. getting closer to who i am. although this emotional rollercoaster is a bit exhausting. every little something gets under my skin. yesterday i teared up watching “bullerbü” with my daughter … on the other hand simple things like looking up to the sky make my heart dance with joy.
years ago i shared some part of my journey here with a russian guy. he had been living in germany for years but had always been missing his homeland. why wouldn’t he go back then? those days i wasn’t able to understand this at all. when once i told him, all he said was: “well, that’s why you are living here instead of brazil or somewhere.”
now i finally understand …
another catholic festival. 4 days of party. processions, dance, fireworks. and artwork, that took months of preparation – the artists started with their work before easter. gigantic images, made of colored sand (or something similar). they also made images of flowers all over the streets. have a look: