“If you spend a few days with me, you may experience my sadness and even my anger.” ~ His Holiness the Dalai Lama
somehow it gives me comfort to read these words. even he is experiencing “negative” emotions. so it’s not only me not being “perfect” enough. … oh no, i appreciate all my emotions. but during the last years i so much tried to think & feel positive, believing in my ability to design my life, my experiences, that way. the law of attraction and so on. sometimes it seemed to work. sometimes it didn’t.
anyway, it is not possible to just put a smiley-sticker on something you don’t want the way it is. this won’t change anything. far from it, things are likely to become worse.
life is joy. but there are times when it is hard to enjoy the challenges. times not that easy & effortless. it’s similar to food: i don’t only like the sweet things. without a taste of bitterness now & then something is missing.
these days i feel sad. bored. restless. depressed. lonely. LONELY. looking at these feelings, remembering them from the last winters. obviously, it’s not only due to darkness & chilliness (but they made it worse!). & also not only due to my current situation … although this is the reason for a big part of my loneliness.
life is about using the whole box of crayons. within the last days i realized there are some colors missing in my last years’ paintings. still thinking about when, how, why i have lost them. wondering what to do to get them back!