our experience of the outer world is nothing but a reflection of what is inside of us. our inner world. however we experience what is happening “outside” … is determined by our inner world.
lately, “meeting” a woman in the web who gave birth to a baby whom she knew months before to be too ill to live more than a few minutes or hours … i felt for her, but at the same time thought that something like this happening to me could be the chance to experience another pregnancy and birth (which i would love to do) without being tied, without having to care for my (not-so-)little ones for another 16 or so years.
by no means i want to miss the children in my life and being tied really is not the most important characteristic of our relationship … but i obviously do miss more freedom for myself.
there are no “bad” feelings or “bad” thoughts … i know … but somehow … ?!?!??