Monthly Archives: January 2017


… what i found today:

an empty nest, in a muddle of branches. a dreamcatcher, hanging in a tree. and, i finally saw the “eye” … la luna … a huge eye … so awesome.



our love, unable to be captured in words


Let’s not commit to a future together. The future is so unknown, and we are so fluid, and tired of pretending that we know.

Our thoughts and feelings are ever-changing, uncontrollable, like a wild ocean of love.

Our desires wax and wane; our dreams are born and die in every moment.

Let’s not commit to a form of love. The forms are always shifting, like the tides.

We do not need security here. We are not seeking comfort, but Truth.

Let’s make a deeper commitment; one that cannot be broken or lost.

To presence. To meeting in the here-and-now.

To bringing all of ourselves. To knowing, and letting ourselves be known.

To telling the truth, today; knowing that our truth may change tomorrow.

To bowing before each other, even if our hearts are broken and tender.

No promises, no guarantees.

Loving takes courage! Yes!

For love is a field, not a form. Let us commit to the field, remember the field in every moment of our precious days on this Earth.

In ten years’ time, we may still be together. We may have children. We may live together, or live apart.

We may never see each other again. This may be our last day.

If we are honest, we really do not know; not knowing is our Home.

We may be friends, or lovers, or strangers, or family, or we may remain undefined, beyond narrative, our love unable to be captured in words.

Here at the edge of the known, on the line that once divided sanity from madness, and doubt from certainty, we play, we dance, we drink tea, we touch each other, we cry, we laugh, we meet.

We sacrifice comfort and predictability. But what we gain is astonishing: This tremendous sense of being alive. No longer numb to the mysteries of love, the mysteries of our bodies.

A little raw, perhaps. A little shaky. Maybe a little disoriented, but perhaps this is the price of being totally free.

Maybe an old part of us still seeks mommy or daddy, that Magic Person who will never leave, always be there, take away the loneliness repressed in our guts. Loving that frightened part too; bowing to that part too, but no longer being controlled by it.

And they will ask:
What about your future?
What happens if you have children?
How the hell do you define yourselves?
Why are you afraid of commitment?
Why do you run from security? Comfort? Future?

They will say you are crazy, or you don’t understand love, or you are lost, or you are unloving and selfish, and you will smile, and understand their fear, for their fear was once yours, and you cannot abandon your path now.

And nobody has to walk with you. Ever.

At some point, only Truth will satisfy. A living Truth, renewing itself each and every moment, the wild Truth of the open heart.

When Love and Truth are One, when the Commitment is deeply rooted in the breath, we can finally face each other without resentment, and explode into the most melancholy sunsets, held in the most profound joy.

Walking alone, together, alone.

– Jeff Foster

signs & messages

am 1.1.


“es ist egal, ob der wind dreht;
es sind die gesetzten segel, die uns sagen, wo es hin geht”

“der mächtigste gedanke wird im herz gedacht”

“das leben ist wie ein reissender fluss
der mich weitertreibt, der nie stehen bleibt.
und erreich ich ein ufer,
komm ich doch nur zum schluss,
dass ich weiter gehen muss.”




somewhere in the neverland between the endings and the new beginnings we took the wrong(?) turn and fell … again. [everything keeps coming back to me until i’ll finally learn (what???)] … rabbit hole … wonderland … oh yes, baby, we found wonderland …

now, slowly stepping into the energy of new beginnings, step by step finding back to my light … and again … i’d better go and travel the world and the seven seas, like alice did, for quite a while … trying to let go of MY “romantic” ideas going on learning & growing, never without you but not with you though … before eventually coming back, looking behind the mirror … to see if you’ll be there.

“i reached for you but you were gone
i knew i had to get back home
you search the world for something else
that makes you feel like what we had
and in the end in wonderland we both got mad”