• breath meditation.
  meant to raise one’s energy. my reaction: overwhelming tiredness, i almost fell asleep. the only thing keeping me awake was a strong itchiness coming up during the meditation. next day i had eczemas … detox, stimulated by the breath meditation?
• shiatsu. a friend gave some shiatsu to me. i really enjoyed the treatment, the massage, & felt very well. in the middle of the next night i woke up with a strong pain in my stomach … a very special pain that i had experienced about 20 years ago. coincidence? or can shiatsu evoke things like this? detox??

our mantra of the day … “what shall we do today? – be lucky!” “was machen wir heute? – glück haben!” … reading michael ende’s awesome book “the neverending story” with the daughter. i haven’t read it for years & i love it even more now!

it seems to me that for every spanish word i am learning i forget an english one. sometimes i even cannot find german words. more & more often i find myself talking to people in a mix of 2 or 3 languages. so don’t be surprised if i should start mixing up the languages here

incredibly intensive, filled with joy, love, abundance. here & now.

- community
- joy of reunion with beloved friends
- beautiful german sceneries i have never seen before
- an abundance of GREEN
- trips, fun, easy life
- interesting, soul and heart feeding encounters
- especially one quite short but lovely unorthodox encounter, raising up my self-esteem

obviously, the changes in my life have changed me … talking about fallen barricades, leaving me more open & much more vulnerable. this seems to be visible in my face … as a dear friend told me.

feeling gratitude & happiness for everything within these awesome weeks!

for my dear friend c whom i haven’t seen for 3 years now … HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! hope you have an awesome day today. you are always giving me a reason to believe!

besides all of these inner affairs the main thing i am dealing with these days is our poor social life. me as well as the daughter are urgently missing more people in our lifes. this had been a problem in germany, because most of our friends were living far away from us. & here, of course, where we only know very few people up to now, it is even worse.

i am yearning for a community to live in, with people of different ages, vegans, raw foodists would be great. unschoolers (living a radically unschooled life). likeminded. openminded. community! that’s what we need. that’s what i want for all the three of us. at least we could think about moving to a place with a bit more life in our neighbourhood. shorter ways. puerto maybe? furthermore i would really really love to have a garden, maybe grow some vegetables or greens!

so i made a list, a to-do-list, for when we will be back from germany: looking for communities on the islands, visiting them. placing notices in the health store. go on looking for classes, ballet, sports and so on. socialize our lifes

edit: start moving, so your angel can start blessing: just after scheduling these activities i made a new acquaintance, a german living here for many years with her daughter … i will call her in august as soon as we will be here again.

sounds so much more positive that way, doesn’t it? well, i don’t know if it is about forgetting. but for finding my true self, dormant somewhere. which could possibily involve losing what i have, what i think i am. makes me curious

Daniel Mackler writes about the risks of emotional healing that it also bears the risk of pain. feeling lots of long time denied feelings … i guess that’s where i am right now. just feeling. not analysing or something. recognizing what i have done for years to suppress them. yes it is painful. but liberating. as i wrote a few days ago: i do enjoy it!

When your emotions are not expressed, acknowledged or observed they remain trapped in your body.
By expressing your feelings from your heart the weight of them falls away.

John and Collette Whiteman

as i have written yesterday i enjoy quite intensive emotions these days. the kids do so as well. and all the three of us do quite well in expressing our emotions … regardless of the consequences …

although i was baptized roman catholic (but left church at the age of 20) i never in my life have been living in an environment that catholic like i do now. well, up to now, it doesn’t really touch my life. it is just all the religious festivals. the images of mary & jesus in every bus, every house, every garage (sic!). lots of churches & chapels. small altars at the roadsides. the villages named after saints.

i did not know there are patron saints for such a lot of aspects of life. the quarter we live in, san antonio, is named after the patron saint for those in love. isn’t that awesome? what a chance! i am curious to see what he will bring into my life