only 3 and a half weeks until he will leave. “my” son. only a few months ago i wanted him to start into his own life. now … i will miss him! remembering the tears i cried when at the age of almost 7 he spent the first weekend without me … (some weeks later i had learned to appreciate these weekends-with-dad, appreciated the freedom i had won.)

i have just read through my last year’s posts. the days & weeks before we left germany. remembering the basics: a place to sleep, fruit to eat, internet connection. & the three of us together. … from now on it will only be the two of us. for sure he will still be an important part of our familiy, of my life. only about 4,000 km away …

well. the two of us will go on travelling together … looking forward to our next house move in a few weeks. gratefully saying good-bye to this comfortable apartment, our home for the last 10 months. looking for new experiences. going on looking for our community. going on travelling.

met a german woman last sunday who told me about her reason for coming to this island 4 yrs ago. her friend suffered a stroke in her mid-30s. which reminded her insistently to live her dreams NOW. & so she did! if not now then when.

so … let’s go on!

Du bist den Weg der Wünsche gegangen, und der ist nie gerade. Du hast einen großen Umweg gemacht, aber es war dein Weg.

Quelle: Die unendliche Geschichte (Neverending Story), Michael Ende

ich gehe ihn noch, den weg. genieße das gehen. auch der umwege. gibt es die überhaupt? gehört nicht jedes stück weg, sogar jedes im-kreis-laufen, zu meinem weg? hauptsache weitergehen. nicht stehen bleiben.

wie paulo coelho es so schön sagt: “when your legs are tired, walk with your heart. but please, don’t stop!“

although i was baptized roman catholic (but left church at the age of 20) i never in my life have been living in an environment that catholic like i do now. well, up to now, it doesn’t really touch my life. it is just all the religious festivals. the images of mary & jesus in every bus, every house, every garage (sic!). lots of churches & chapels. small altars at the roadsides. the villages named after saints.

i did not know there are patron saints for such a lot of aspects of life. the quarter we live in, san antonio, is named after the patron saint for those in love. isn’t that awesome? what a chance! i am curious to see what he will bring into my life

survived another new moon. since i am here on tenerife i seem to become even more sensitive to the moon. & to everything else …
is it due to the situation, that i left such a big part of my life behind to go on living in a different world? i don’t know. & i don’t really care. it is as it is. & i somehow like it. getting closer to who i am. although this emotional rollercoaster is a bit exhausting. every little something gets under my skin. yesterday i teared up watching “bullerbü” with my daughter … on the other hand simple things like looking up to the sky make my heart dance with joy.

for about 5 weeks or so it is predominantly cloudy here, often misty, often raining. indeed it is warm, but i am missing the sun & the blue skies. furthermore, moon is waning, only 2 days left until new moon. i have always been sensitive to the phases of the moon, bursting with energy when moon is full and feeling week and vulnerable when it is new moon. and i am still working with what liedloff is reminding me of. so these days i am a bit … confused. feeling down. feeling lonely.

today i have been talking to my friend in germany … so lovely to hear her voice, to speak to her, even if we only had a few minutes … she told me about a great school in germany, giving them the possibility to really unschool, inside this “school” or at home, just the way they want to. sounds wonderful! for a moment i was wondering if we should go back … living in germany, legally! the possibility for my daughter to decide, day by day. lots of other people, children, adults, our friends near to us.

then i remembered. there had been more reasons for me to leave. there are still lots of regulations, controls in germany, concerning children, concerning the way we live, even the way we eat. life is more expensive there, less easy. i really don’t want to stand a german winter again!

no, i don’t want to go back!

there are things i am missing in my life but these are independent from where i am. i am on my way. and i am going on. searching. inside and outside. guess i won’t stay here forever …

our flight time has changed … from 10:30 am to 6:00 am. guess i won’t sleep at all the night before …

terminated my rental agreement. the 1st step on our journey of thousands of miles. about 3 months left here before we will leave. wow. i am so excited!

… may the bridges i burn light my way!