spending half my days in the forest these days.
losing my mind (lost my mind)
finding my soul (and my body)
i’m all body. a soul in a body.
remembering the first night
when we met lately
crying like i was all tears and pain and sadness.
making love felt different then ever before.
no yesterday, no tomorrow.
me, all body.
listening to my soul, speaking through my body.
i am so aware of my body, its needs, its sensations.
experiencing everything inside me in such a physical way … fears and happiness, love and yearning, missing and peace … showing me especially how many fear there is inside of me.
and how much yearning …
just feeling it, not thinking very much, letting it come, letting it go.
me, all body.
want to lose even more of my civilized mind = fears.
want to act much more from my belly, my heart.
want to LIVE even more in the MOMENT. no tomorrow. only NOW.
into the forest i go
to lose my mind
and find my soul
somehow … i don’t seem to be able to plan this journey. or i simply don’t feel the need to do it.
bis portugal reicht mein plan, bis zu dir … und ich weiss noch nicht einmal genau, wo das ist.
dass ich momentan nicht dort bleiben kann, weiss ich auch … und hab doch keinerlei plan, wann genau/wo/wie wir weiter fahren werden. faith? … or … maybe i don’t want to go anywhere else …?
… soweit meine gedanken bis vor zwei tagen.
… weiss ich noch weniger. nur, dass ich zu dir muss. will. das weiss ich noch immer. und wünsch mir nur, dich zu finden. … !!!
my inner world again has been upside down this summer and still is. although i have been feeling better for 1 or 2 weeks now … well, maybe i will write more about this in another post. one thing i am often losing track of in the bustle of my everyday life (or am avoiding when i don’t feel well … don’t know why but i tend to avoid lots of things i usually like, enjoy, need when in this mood …) is crafting. within the last days i realized (again) how i am missing it and i started to plan some projects. made some doodles, painted with the daughter, will crochet some amigurumis and maybe knit a ninja sweater for the son. will have to go shopping before as i don’t have wool and i can’t find my favourite crochet hook – a wonderful one, wooden, a present from my dear friend c in australia. wondrously a new crochet hook arrived here by mail today … together with the “molly makes” i ordered few weeks ago, and, even better, together with a wonderful collage kit by jademond … exactly what i need right now! thank you so much!
so hopefully i can show you some new crafts here soon 🙂
at the north-west corner of tenerife. incredibly beautiful coast. i so much enjoy the sceneries here! especially at the coast: impressing mountains & canyons, & on the other side always the atlantic. the panorama road to the playa de teno was an adventure: beneath such impressing, wild scarps … made me feel humble & small.
i finally found a training stable for western riding near here. it’s in elmenhorst, about half an hour by car. even better, m & me can both ride there, at the same time. yay 🙂
i love this way of riding. of interacting with the horse.
& … not only that riding is great physical exercise. it is so much more. kind of therapy. for me. makes me be totally “now”.